I find so much enjoyment in experiencing childhood as an adult.
I know that is a very silly sounding statement. But for me having children has been a little like that – experiencing childhood as an adult.
I had a childhood that is full of good memories. Not perfect but pretty wonderful in the simplest of ways. Long summer holidays spent with family, neighbours and best friends. Birthday parties, weekend skating rink visits, playing board games with my brother, riding bikes around the neighbourhood, dressing up in Mum’s clothing…the list goes on.
But before you know it, you are all grown up and instead of being the carefree child of the family, you are required to be the responsible adult, and in my case, mother. But I have found that in between the extremely challenging times of being a mum, I am really enjoying childhood again by joining in with them and thinking up ideas to help them grow their own happy impressions of these days.
I am enjoying it in a much different way to how I did when I was a child. I now know how fast it goes, and how the memories you take with you throughout your life are not archived minute by minute for you to replay when you’d like to, but more by the impression it leaves. Details can sometimes be sketchy even though you lived through every second of those days/months/years of your childhood.
One thing I’d play back if I did have a minute by minute archive would be the times when my Dad played with my brother and I. I have lots of memories of playing with Mum, because she was at home with us much of the time. But those times with Dad are vague in my mind, and although I know they existed, I find them hard to pull out of the memory banks. Having said goodbye to him 8 years ago makes it all the more important to me that I remember these things.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons for my excessive photo-taking…capturing as many moments as I can in visual form so it is not forgotten. Then again, I hope my sons will not be as forgetful as I am!
I am happy to say I have no regrets from my childhood. At least none I can recall!! And I’m pretty determined to not have regrets from my children’s childhood. I’m not intending to make it perfect for them, or even take away their hassles, crises or inconveniences. I’m just making it as darned healthy as I can.
Love Ruth x